DAN: I Thought He Was Dead
By Dan O'Donnell
Wait, maybe that's the ODB. Dennis Rodman is back and, um, feistier than ever. Obviously, violence against women is a very serious topic and there is absolutely, positively nothing funny about it, but doesn't the Worm's latest arrest beg the question--why doesn't this man have his own reality show?
If Deion Sanders and, heaven help us, Barry Bonds are deemed interesting enough to have their own shows, how come Rodman isn't? I know, I know, he would send VH1's insurance premiums through the roof, but a half hour with the Rodmonian every week would be ratings gold. What color will his hair be? Which cameraman will he kick in the groin? How desperate will he get people to pay attention to him this week?
You know you'd watch, sports fans. Besides, it would have to be better than sitting through American Idol with your girlfriend. Hey, maybe Rodman could kick Simon Cowell in the groin! I'm telling you...ratings gold.