756* (and &%$#)
By Dan O'Donnell
Well, baseball has a new home run king and I don't know how to feel. Literally. Since BALCO put me on a new blog-enhancing steroid regimen I've only been able to feel blinding, incapacitating rage. Okay, rage and sadness that my head is now the size of a beach ball.
Fortunately for me, though, the media tells me how to feel about major news stories like this. The New York Post (always a bastion of subtle reporting) called Barry "The Sultan of Syringe" and spelled out "Seven Fifty-Five" in needles on its front page, FOX News proclaimed "Barry enters the record book, for better or worse," while ESPN reminded me to buy the DVD of Bonds on Bonds.
I don't want to get all political on this, but politicos have weighed in on the new record*, both in statements and silence. President Bush, a noted baseball fan and former owner of the Texas Rangers, issued a written statement of congratulations but neither watched the historic homer nor offered a congratulatory phone call after the game. On the other end of the Washington spectrum, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) hailed Bonds and his "rightful place among sports' immortals." She then blamed allegations of steroid use that have dogged Bonds for the last few years on President Bush.
What speaks even louder than America's leaders is where baseball's leader was instead of attending last night's game - meeting with George Mitchell to talk about steroids in baseball.