Another One Dopes the Blood
By Dan O'Donnell
Just a day after Kazakh rider Alexandre Vinokourov failed a blood doping test, a SECOND Tour de France cyclist has tested positive for high levels of testosterone. I know, I'm just as shocked as you are.
With apologies to The Onion (and anyone who does good satire), here's what the story might look like two years from now:
Tour de France Cyclist Passes Blood Doping Test
For the first time this year, a cyclist in the Tour de France has passed a blood doping test. To the shock and dismay of Tour officials, American rider Tom Danielson (Discovery Channel Team) tested negative for anabolic steroids, blood doping, and illegally high levels of testosterone.
"I can't believe this has happened," Danielson told London's Sky News service. "I want to apologize to my family, teammates, and fans for letting them all down."
"This is a sad day for the Tour de France and competitive cycling itself," said Tour director Christian Prudhomme. "The very idea that a cyclist would not cheat in this prestigious event is absolutely repulsive. This goes against everything the Tour and the sport of cycling itself stand for, and it will not be tolerated."
At press time, Prudhomme was still mulling punishment options for Danielson, which could range from a year's suspension to forced steroid injections.