"One hit!?!?" whines Harry Doyle (Bob Uecker) after another pathetic performance by the fictional Cleveland Indians in Major League.  "One g*&%^$ed hit?!?!?"

The Brewers got more than one g*&%^$ed hit last night, but barely.  Sadly, these pathetic offensive performances aren't fictional, and unless things turn around quickly, there won't be a Hollywood ending this season.

The Brewers now have the fifth fewest hits (267) in the Majors, the fifth worst team batting average (.241), and are now on the verge of losing their fifth straight game.  Next stop; fifth in the division.

I'm hardly alone in my pessimism, when ESPN.com's Page 2 entitles a story "Woe is the Milwaukee Brewers," it's clear that the general consensus is that this brew is dangerously close to going flat.