Who's to blame for the Crew's woes? Someone who never swung a bat, caught a ball or threw a pitch
MILWAUKEE - A season to forget for the Brewers slogs on.
The team went 5-4 on its recent road swing--no mean feat considering they're more Nashville Sounds than Milwaukee Brewers. They're home to battle the Reds this weekend and the Cardinals after that, two teams some thought the Crew would be battling for a share of the NL Central lead right about now.
Blame a 6-22 record in May for making sure the Brewers were out of contention by Memorial Day. And, blame this:
No, not the entire 162 game schedule. Point the finger at that mope in the upper right hand corner.
That would be me.
I was honored (and, slightly embarrassed) to see my mug atop the official WTMJ magnetic schedule when it came out.. At first glance, some fans thought Ken Macha was back as manager.
Would've been a better choice.
My face atop the schedule doomed the crew to a forgettable 2013 campaign. I am The Cooler. I am where good fortune goes to die. Don't be driving behind me, because my car flips green lights to red 50 feet before any intersection. Don't roll in behind me at the checkout counter, as the person in front of me will bring things to a roaring halt with some sort of credit hassle, exchange issue, lengthy price check or by insisting on paying an entire bill in exact change, minus any paper money.
With my mug lording over the magnetic slate, the team never looked good in spring training, scuffled in April, collapsed in May, absorbed injuries, saw starting pitchers falter, witnessed Rickey Weeks' struggles, found out Corey Hart had TWO bad knees, realized Aramis Ramirez was going to wreck himself whenever he slid into second, and watched as the face of the franchise walked away in mid-campaign to sit out a 65 game PED suspension.
The Boomer, George Scott, even died on my watch.
Being atop a MLB team's magnetic schedule was a proud moment in my professional life. The thought of being stuck to so many refrigerators made me, well, more than a little verklempt. We'll never know what might've been had I not been placed thusly. Safe to say, it couldn't have been much worse.
There's still a lot of ball to be played, much of it by kids who had no idea they'd be in the bigs this summer. It's good on-the-job training for the players and a good learning moment for whichever station staffer thought I'd be a good choice as the schedule's poster child.
And just what is that lesson?
It's this: mine is face made for radio.