He's not even in the ground yet, and already people are complaining about the volume/depth/enormity of the coverage surrounding the death of Michael Jackson.

        Some advice: you'd either better head to the nearest cave, or avoid the news for the next year or so.

        A funeral that's sure to draw every star still awaits, provided the family goes the public route.      If private, expect lots of shaky copter shots of private processions and graveside gatherings.

       Then there's the post mortem--sure, the autopsy is done but there's going to be as much as eight weeks of breathless speculation as to what Jackson ingested or injected in the hours before his heart locked up.     That's how long it's going to take for the toxicology report to come in.    Toss in the mysterious personal doctor who as of this writing has yet to pick up his impounded car (or even ask about it) and you've got a season's worth of "CSI" episodes waiting to play out in real life.     I know nothing, but this is starting to feel more and more like Elvis Presley's demise, minus the dead-on-the-toilet aspect.   

       Then, there are kids--three of them, by two different moms.     I don't think this will play out quietly.

       And the estate?      Yes, Jackson had as much as a half-billion dollars in debt racked up by the time he died, but he also sported some pretty dazzling assets.      Who gets paid first?     Who gets what's left, if anything?      Who knows.       Expect a lot of lawyers to accrue some pretty serious billable hours, no matter what.

      As well as some serious spins in the news cycle, for days, weeks and months to come.    Bring plenty of provisions to that cave you're heading to.