I would like to thank my basement floor drain for sparing me the indignity of seeing Wisconsin's latest college football embarrassment--Saturday night's 48-7 shellacking at the hands of Penn State.

       I wasn't sure about going to Madison, since a buddy of mine who I'd invited never got back to me.    My kids are gone, my wife wasn't interested and I wasn't too keen about making the trip alone.     I figured I'd watch in the mancave, giving myself the option of dipping into the goings on at Camp Randall as well as the ALCS in Tampa.     My mind still wasn't made up, though, and I was still thinking about heading out as I went to get provisions for the basement fridge, just in case I stayed put.    I  was in the process of doing so when I heard a squishing noise as I approached--the throw-rug in front of it was soaked.         What the hell, I thought, the fridge must've conked out.     A quick check showed the puddle was far too large to have come from just that, and my heart sank when I got to the back-basement--puddles all over.        It took a minute before I could find the source: the floor drain, which was full of standing water.       Panicked phone calls to my plumbing buddy got me the name of a guy who could actually come to the house on short notice to trouble-shoot.      I was on the phone with him when my wife wiggled an electrical plug in my face and said, "Where does this go?"      Turns out someone--most likely a furnace repair man--unplugged the ejector crock pump in my basement floor.     It filled, then backed up the floor drain.       The water swirled out when my wife shoved the plug in.

       By the time I'd wiped up the mess, I was in no mood for a two hour drive alone, much less a solitary football game.      Home it was, to witness the massacre.

       Let's just say the Wisconsin offense is non-existent, the defense is porous, and the special teams woefully misnamed.     Quarterback Allen Evridge had little if no time to pass, and still doesn't protect the ball properly.      His second quarter gaffe led to Penn State's final score of the first half and put the game out of reach.       Punter Brad Nortman had a dreadful night, shanking a 15 yarder and hitting several line drives including one that the Nitany Lions returned for a first half score.         The collapse was complete, thorough, and repugnant to fans who were led to believe that this was a team that would not only battle for a BCS bowl but also a Big Ten title.      Neither will happen this year, what after three straight conference losses.      This is a team that may not get a postseason berth unless Coach Bret Bielema can find a way to end the tailspin.       

      Then again, maybe these Badgers weren't as good as billed--ranked fifth at one point earlier this season, they fell into a huge hole before rallying to beat Marshall and struggled to put away Fresno State in going 3-0 to start the slate.     Next came the Michigan collapse, the loss to Ohio State and now, the Penn State pummeling.     Iowa, Illinois and Michigan State await.     Nothing I saw the last three weeks makes me think any of those games are gimmies.

      Thanks, formerly filled floor drain, for sealing my evening plans.     The only fans I shared tonight with were the ones helping to dry my basement floor.       

       At least the band sounded good.