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John Mercure: Mercurey Rising

Groundhog Day is Soooooooooooooooooooooooo Stupid

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As a journalist for more than 20 years, I have seen many things that are stupid, imbecilic, brainless... even inane.  Few of them can compare with the lunacy of looking to an overgrown rodent to predict whether or not Winter will continue. 

Seriously.

Who the hell with half a brain thinks that a groundhogs, also known as a land beavers or whistle pigs, can really predict whether spring or winter is closer?!  (track record of famous groundhogs Punxsutawney Phil is probably the most famous ground hog.  He sure isn't famous for being accurate.  Phil and his relatives have been predicting for almost 125 years. They have only been right 39% of the time.  39% of the time!!!

Today in Milwaukee, Wynter the groundhog did not see her shadow.  That means that spring is on its way.  Duh!  Thanks Wynter.  You might want to change your name to Svengali. 

If the aliens ever come and take over Earth they'll be going through all the rituals and traditions we had. They'll be curious about the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. They'll probably grin about burning little chunks of wax on top of our birthday cakes. They may get a chuckle out of hanging old socks over the fireplace at Christmas.  They will laugh their a*& off when they discover that we turned to a a dirty hole digger to predict when Winter would end.

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Milwaukee, WI

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