Friday, the Chicago Tribune devoted a significant chunk of its front page and over 40 paragraphs to the next big threat facing America.
Were they reporting on a nuclear Iran? How about the anti-American violence associated with the Arab Spring? How about terrorism in Libya? Perhaps the "fiscal cliff" that the country is about to fall over?
No,no, no and no.
So what is the latest threat to our way of life? Flamin' Hot Cheetos, the new "Red Menace".
The world has certainly changed in the 20 years since Frito-Lay launched Flamin' Hot Cheetos as a snack. Once thought of as a treat for the young, some school officials now consider them a threat to the Republic. While many schools won't sell them on campus, some go as far as to confiscate them if kids bring them from home.
Who would have thought. Heroin, crack cocaine, crystal meth - and now Flamin' Hot Cheetos.
Thank you Michelle Obama.
The hysteria about Flamin' Hot Cheetos goes beyond their lack of nutritional value. Some argue that they're "spiciness" will destroy the taste buds of our youth so that they can never learn to appreciate the appeal of steamed broccoli.
There is also concern that the red dye can have some nasty effects on a person's gastro-intestinal system. Kind of like bananas without the food coloring.
I appreciate that we all need to eat better. Still, the reason kids like Flamin' Hot Cheetos is because they taste good. Figure out creative ways to make healthy food look and taste great and there won't be as much demand for junk food. Until school officials do that though, the "war" on childhood obesity will be a dismal failure.
In the 50's and 60's, the threat of communism was known as "the Red Menace". In 2012, Flamin' Hot Cheetos is the new Red Menace - really!
Sometimes I miss those Commies ...
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