The headline is straight from the New York Times, and the marketing is brilliant!
This is a tough one for me to relate to - after all, I'm 34, not married, and hope to father a child or two before my time on Earth ends. But I do appreciate the length at which people will go to watch four straight days of college basketball.
If a vasectomy is not in your plans, perhaps having your wisdom teeth removed, or a nicely timed appendectomy would allow you to accomplish your goal of uninterrupted college basketball viewing.
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