I'd Rather Be On The Business End of A Severe Waterboarding...
...before I see another one of those putrid Miller Genuine Draft t-v ads during Brewers games.
There, I feel better already.
I'm already sacrificing a perfectly good Sunday afternoon with puffy clouds and temps in the 70's to sit INSIDE and watch a ballclub that keeps living down to the expectations of naysayers. I watch Milwaukee go down passively in the first, wasting a lead-off single, and then IT shows up on my screen.
That stupid morphing dancer.
That insipid music.
That dizzy voice reminding me that, "with every step, it gets better", the message being that each of the four brewing processes Genuine Draft goes through improves the eventual taste.
I can vouch for that, having placed my yap at the business end of many a can/bottle of said beer. Tasty, it is.
Banal, the commercials are.
I know it's sacrilege to bad-mouth the local brand. Miller employs a lot of our friends and neighbors, and does wonderful things for the community. But, in an age where image is everything and rival brewers are cranking out hilarious spots to reinforce their brands, I guess I'd like to see something more from the folks in the Creative Department in Miller Valley. This commercial, and it's various mutations, SUCK to the point of being flat-out annoying.
I'm not some fossil who thinks Miller advertising peaked with Uecker and the All Stars. I remember fondly "The Catfight" and the ensuing hoo-hah it caused. I KNOW they can do better.
These amber-dancer ads are enough to make me long for the salad days of that goofball "Dick", or at least make a dive for the remote every time I hear that "da..da-da...da..da-da-da" coming through my t-v speakers.
Or, drive me to drink, which may be the whole purpose in the first place.