Hurry, winter...and bring an end to this non-stop election season
The phone will soon be quiet.
And welcome back to TV, David Gruber. Haven't seen you much lately. I assume "one call, that's all" remains your calling card.
Wisconsin's historic recall grinds to an end at eight, Tuesday night. That's when the voting stops and the counting begins. It's when the robo-calls stop and television becomes a place to peddle burgers, cars and beer again, not misrepresentations and gross distortions.
Lord, please let there be a clear-cut winner and no recount. I'll trade you: swarms of mosquitos for a summer without any more electoral rancor, including but not limited to a state full of hundreds of lawyers questioning every ballot in small-town Wisconsin courtrooms as state government remains gridlocked.
We've got big issues in this state, to be sure. Regardless of whose jobs numbers you believe, we need more work in Wisconsin. It'd be nice to see our elected types back on the job instead of on the stump or canvassing the nation looking for ballot bucks.
No matter who wins, it's time to end the partisan b-s that put us here in the first place, but I know that's like hoping for a Brewers victory without a starting player ending up the the DL. It's that kind of summer in the Badger State.
The lawn gods could inflict my yard with virulent crab grass if, in exchange, it meant that the word "compromise" was no longer the second most profane "c-bomb" in all of Madison.
Ants can ride shotgun at each and every one of my outdoor parties this summer if only we could see lawmakers join forces to change Wisconsin's recall laws. That requires some heavy legislative lifting, since the constitution has to be amended but isn't this something both Democrats and Republicans can agree on? It still takes a lot of signatures to force a recall issue, but isn't it time to tighten the rules so that it's an option in play only for those elected officials found guilty of something more than having a "D" or an "R" next to their names?
I'd go a summer without beer if it meant an end to Wisconsin's third season (besides construction and winter), that being "election". We've reached the point where we know our poll workers on a first-name basis, where the guy who watches as you slide your ballot into that funky little machine is now on your Christmas card list.
That last trade-off is easy to make because I know I won't have to live up to my end of the bargain. Tuesday, June 5th is a truly historic day in Wisconsin but it's not the end of anything. We've got some contentious September primaries on the horizon, not to mention what manor of electoral hell is about to be opened up in Wisconsin once the Flatlanders return to Illinois, the leaves change color and the adjective "battleground" becomes part of the official state name. There's a President to choose in November, and we're always in the thick of it.
The air will chill, but the airwaves will once again be full of campaign ads and Super PAC distortions. There will be bases to motivate, independents to sway.
It'll be June all over again. Goody. I never thought December could look so good.