I believe in long, slow, deep, wet kisses that last three days...and in Jonathan Lucroy
I'm not Crash Davis, but I ascribe to many of his beliefs.
The "Bull Durham" catcher played by Kevin Costner is best remembered, among other things, for a moving soliloquy he delivers to Susan Sarandon fairly early in the film, one in which he prattles off a list of what he believes. It is blunt, profane and not suitable for delicate ears. If that frightens you, this would be a time for you to check out a Tom Feiza podcast. If not, let 'er roll.
I believe another baseball backstop, too, and I'm starting to feel like a committee of one.
I believe Brewers catcher Jonathan Lucroy's story about how he broke his hand the other night, an injury that's going to need surgery Thursday and a five-week stay on the disabled list. It comes as Lucroy is putting up career numbers, one of the few bright spots in an injury-riddled, star-crossed campaign. His busted mitt cost Milwaukee a big bat and Lucroy an almost certain trip to Kansas City for the All-Star game.
He says it happened when he was with his wife in their hotel room. He was reaching for a sock when somehow weight got shifted and a suitcase fell and, wouldn't you know it, the damn Samsonite planted itself right on his throwing paw.
It's goofy enough to believe.
Many are scoffing at this tale, coming up with all manner of theories. Some think Lucroy planted his fist in a wall out of frustration. Other theories are kinkier and more diabolical. The burden of proof is on the accusers and the doubters.
Baseball is rife with tales about guys injuring themselves in bizarre ways off the field. Chris Narveson sliced himself open while trying to string his own mitt--they have people for that kinda stuff, don't they? Another Brewers pitcher spilled bodily fluids in an ugly dust-up with a salad tongs.
We're a disbelieving bunch these days, what with all the stories that get spun one way only to come apart as the truth comes out, thread by thread. And, folks in our business are supposed to be endowed by their Creator with a larger-than-normal gland full of skepticism.
Lucroy wraps himself in further glory (or, in the eyes of disbelievers, more askew glances) by telling the Journal/Sentinel's Tom Haudricourt to please steer away from the details of the actual incident itself during the course of the interview linked above. To me, it sounds like the noble backstop is trying to avert further blame/embarrassment his wife's way. Some skeptics wouldn't believe Lucroy's story if he did a Warren Commission-esque recreation with Jerry Augustine on FoxSports Wisconsin before tonight's game with the Dodgers.
I believe in Crash Davis, and many of the things he prattles off in his screed (although we Muellers do Christmas presents on the Eve, not the Day). And, I believe Jonathan Lucroy. I buy his story about the wayward suitcase, the unfortunate landing, the snapping metacarpal.
I also believe he'll be good as new when he comes back in early July. And, that it'll be a long five weeks at catcher until he does.