"Bring Gold Bond"
June 7, 2011
Dear Unionista brethren,
Summer is upon us, and many of you will soon be trekking to
Our Capitol City can be a lovely place to visit this time of year, but, due to the many challenges often presented by squatting in a public right-of-way, some amount of due diligence is clearly in order as you prepare for your journey.
Here is a helpful check-list to serve as your guide, compliments of the brain-trust here at your friendly union office:
With your taxing workload, we know that many of you aren’t
always able to get the amount of physical activity you should.
That’s why we think that Gold Bond Medicated Powder should be
on your short-list of camping necessities. It will bring soothing
comfort to your chafed nether-regions after a long day of vile chanting and Hacky Sack.
Whiling away the hours in a poorly-ventilated nylon dome perched atop a city sidewalk can take its toll on a person. That’s why we suggest that you pack plenty of technology in your rucksack.
iPhone, iPad, iPod, Kindle, Droid, PSP, DS… Take them all!
Use the wonder of social networking to document the history we’ll be making; every bongo strike and bong hit another chance to Tweet our message to the world! Rock on, #neckbeardarmy!
(Note: Solar chargers will be provided in the common area between 2-4 PM each day.)
Your union will do what it can to make sure proper pre-printed
visual materials and giant blue fists are available to those in attendance, but due to ‘scheduling conflicts,’ we will not be able to provide a 24/7 presence at this event. That’s why we recommend you pack plenty of art supplies. Paperboard, Sharpies, Crayons, pencils; you can never be too prepared when the urge to whip up a “FOX LIES” sign strikes you after a 2:00 AM munchie-run.
mindless propaganda broadcasts.